25/10/09

and i'm losing the sense of who i am. i wake up in the mornings with a supreme lack of motivation, as though something is holding me back from making the most of the day. i am nostalgic, and i want to move forward but i feel like i'm heading nowhere.

i can't get out of this pessimistic state of mind.

& i need a holiday.

02/10/09

i'm struggling between 2 new pairs but i know nothing will ever replace the old ones.

31/08/09

i tried on some new shoes but nothing fitted. too loose & uncomfortable as i walked.  my old shoes are still my favourite but they might be too worn out to wear again. the sole is a bit tattered and torn, but a bit of patience will sort it.

chances are, if you think this is about you then you are most probably right.

22/08/09

i do not want to be the other one anymore. so close to over.

20/08/09

i am so close to giving up, there is a point where you need to give up being patient and take situations into your own hands. i'm not a puppet, you aren't pulling my strings. i can leave whenever i want, and i know full well so can you. but this is not who i am, or who i want to be. make your decision, keep your mind focused on a single thing, do not change your mind. compromises don't exist here. this is my last wish.

18/08/09

i still expect you to leave at any moment.

& don't think you can compromise.

15/08/09

i really cannot tolerate the unpredictability of people. when they say one thing and act another. and what they said, but what she said, he said, and everybody said. i hate chinese whispers, it never was my thing. and i act as though i'm clever enough to not buy into people's lies and fake personalities but i always let the benefit of the doubt get the better of me. i don't believe you in the slightest, but the worst part is i want to. 

13/08/09

we are heading for the sun. my thoughts are so scattered at the moment that i doubt even spilling my guts on the web will help. nor make sense. 

trust is a hard thing to find. 

'Somewhere between love and sadness

Desire for something new
Leads us to everywhere. '

07/08/09

it's one of those moments in my life where all i can do is sit and wait. and it's finally dawned on me, beyond all of my distractions and sleepless nights that i will have to make a decision. & in a way i hope that it doesn't even get to the point where i have to make a decision, i just need to know. i'm going out of my mind. i'm no lionhearted girl.

27/07/09

what do i do now?